Saturday, April 21, 2007

On Life As I Think I Know It

People are strange
For the simple reason that they turn up uninvited and sit on your sofa and expect you to give them a drink.
Then they ask you stupid questions about things that happened three centuries ago
And look at you strangely when you answer before you think.

You tell them you don't want to see them and would rather sleep,
And they get offended
But say your dog has three worms in his gall bladder,
And he needs to go to the vet right now,
And they know their time has ended.

People are strange because they think they can improve you.
They think they can cry and move you.
And that will prove you aren't deranged
So technically, you've changed.

They think they can change you.
People think they can unstrange you.

Friday, April 20, 2007


Seventeen years ago a terrible, terrible thing happened. A Human Stain was born. We shall not name her.
Seven Years ago, an infinitely more terrible thing happened. The Human Blister mentioned above discovered the Internet.
Six months ago, catastrophe struck. The Human Fuzzball (yes, they're all the same person) realised that the Internet could be Used.

Hence, this blog.

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.