Friday, March 21, 2008

How Time Flies.

I've had three baths already and my skin still has a greenish tinge. I'm hoping the world will assume that my body cells have started producing copious amounts of chlorophyll, but you know the world. It is gleefully malicious, and that is why most people will think I'm just nauseous. Or decomposing. Serves me right for liking the colour green so much.

Holi delights me. I don't have to spend on expensive firecrackers, I don't have to spend dreary hours shopping for a jewelled horror that passes of as a notun jaama, I don't have to pray. I just have to get out of my house and look like I'm terrified of colour (yes, I smirked at that. Terrified, hah.) and every little kid in the vicinity who has a pichkaari appears magically. I then have to pretend to run, and I know water balloons will come zooming in from all directions, landing here, there and everywhere with woeful plops that are most unimpressive for what are supposed to be lethal weapons. I finally act like a damsel in distress and say something equivalent to "Look at what you've done, you little twerps." and poof, I'm a part of the chameleon clique. I will be offered sympathies and free bottles of permanent colour, and I can spend the rest of the day stalking and attacking victims.

Crime was never this easy.

Which reminds me. One of my earliest posts was also about Holi, which means that my blog is about a year old. Did you ever think it possible. And the dashboard tells me I've managed about 55 posts. Did you ever think that possible. And since I can't be bothered finding out how old my blog actually is, I have decided that it is in tribute to the family tradition we have of being unsure about our birthdays. My grandparents never could figure out the Gregorian calendar, my father was registered as having two different birthdates on two different certificates (but then he grew up in Bihar and that is another story), and my mother - well, she was told that she was born on the day that she was born, and you know how gullible children are. As for me, I can't read a thing on my birth certificate (which, again, is sure to be a conspiracy of sorts. I can't be eighteen already). And most importantly, my zodiac still confuses me. It is befitting, therefore, that my blog not know when it was born.

But this means that my blog's now the equivalent of a one-year-old baby, and every parent knows that the period after this is when you regret ever having thought of the opposite sex. I, of course, don't have that luxury either, being the sole begetter of this creature. Which means I garner no sympathy whatsoever. I am a single mother who has fallen prey to artificial insemination without realising that there will be no father to blame everything on. And, consequently, no alimony either.

Frankenstein seems a more lovable book all of a sudden. Aaah! It's alive! It's alive! Oh God, it's alive! Yes.

And since I seem to have run out of things to write about - witness the fact that I wrote this post about birthdays and monsters - I'll go back to doing something more worthwhile, like staring at the ceiling. Happy Birthday, blog, and Happy Holi to the rest.

13 kindred spirits have swallowed my rambling:

Smartphone said...

Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Smartphone, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://smartphone-brasil.blogspot.com. A hug.

panu said...

ooh. Holy Holi. Mostitypes. I slept all day yesterday...

speedpost said...

khi khi. thats me chuckling... so when are we abandoning this inseminated child? since you are commitment phobic and all.

Priyanka Kumar said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Doubletake, Doublethink. said...

@ smartphone: i hate phones.

@ panu: slept? keno keno holi is so much fun!

@ speedpost: i don't know. i don't know. maybe just change the template.

Elendil said...

Gah! Victor Frankenstein never says 'It's alive'. That's just the cheesy movie line.

And yes, holi and such. Pretending to be a damsel in distress. Devious :D

Fishy! said...

Have you read 'Frankenstein'? Elendil's right- there's no such line in the book. But do read it- it's one of the most brilliant books I've ever read.

Doubletake, Doublethink. said...

@ elendil and fishy!: i know, but i always have that line running through my head after i do something of this sort (also an image of boris karloff lurching around looking like, well, like THAT.)

and sorry, i should've said "movie" instead of "book". porechhi, and i understand, it's like the "elementary, my dear watson" myth.

Death On Two Legs said...

Thees ees too maach the funnies!!

As always. I'm starting to get predictable now.

I have one purple patch on my inner elbow joint, and blue streaks running all across my calves like mutated veins :D

Hopefully mu blog isn't a year old, because I have NOT completed 55 posts.

the soliloquist said...

Holi is toogood. I'm so sad I missed it this year.But people have turned really decent this year. If you're not too careful the 'terrified-of-colour' act will actually end with you without the tiniest splotch of colour on you.
Yes, really.

On another note,bless your blog on its first birthday(?)

Fishy! said...

You've read Frankenstein?? Glad to see you took my advice. Where did you get hold of it?
Isn't it just the most brilliant book ever??

heh? ok said...

your blog is very interesting. congratulations. and i just got taken over by a comment bot. congratulations.

happy budday :)

Elendil said...

@ Fishy! I am a fellow MadFan of Frankenstein! When I was in first year, I got so moved by it, that I wrote a paper which Rimidi gave me 8.5/10 for!! :D *gloats* Let us form a Frankenstein Fan Club.